Kasemier.eu

Again, I am somewhere high above the Atlantic ocean. Cruising along with almost 800km/h, having travelled almost 1700km. My laptop is plugged in the power below my seat, my phone is charging and so is my Ipod! Comfortably flying to the States! This time however the flight is directly to my final destination: New York City! No more other flight to destinations across the states and New York is getting closer. And at the same time it is  yet so far away…

My traveling started at 7AM instead of 6:30. My phone crashed somewhere at night and that prevented my alarm from waking me. But since this was going to be an exciting day I woke up early enough to get ready to get picked up! So at 7:40AM I was in the car, with all my things, or at least I hope so, and ready to head to Schiphol Airport. Finally the day had come! The day to fly to NYC and meet the team again. It has been too long!

Although it was pretty crowded  on the road things went pretty smooth. Within 2 hours we were getting close to the airport. I had been twittering and using facebook a lot in the car, but did not have any phone calls, till we almost drove into the Schiphol tunnel. I picked up my phone and it was the doctor. My heart just stopped…

At the end of last year my left knee started to hurt. I went to the physiotherapist and I got some treatment for it. Slowly, but steady my knee improved and running got less painful again. Till the day I ran for about 20minutes and twisted my knee just beside the road. It was a the point where going back was as far as continuing…. And the weather sucked! My knee felt even worse than the weather! It felt as if a firecracker just blew in my knee… One short painful blow! Oooh boy! Now what?

Well of course I had to get home and so I did, but with a lot of pain! Running became harder and harder, but I managed. It totally sucked and couple of day after that I was at the physiotherapist again… We were not certain what it was and the pain had actually got less the days before that visit. I decided it was enough and gave up running in the fields, the flats of Groningen, the sun, the wind, the things I love so much! Instead I gave the crosstrainer a go!

Till that point it had been something for women only. There was no way that I was going to use it, but still I did. It was a total surprise! No more pain in the knee, no sore legs, but still managing to  get great workouts in! With an incline in training hours on the cross trainer, my confidence rose and rose. The weather improved and after almost two weeks of running indoor it was time to get out again!

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. And it felt so amazing to be out there again! Oh boy! It was so amazing! It felt so great and free. Not bound to a room and the same view for hours! The wind in my hairs, the ground pointing through the bottom of my shoes, the smell of the city and nature at the same time! And the knee was doing great! AWESOME!

That great feeling lasted for about 15-20 minutes and then the left knee started hurting again… What da… It had been two weeks! It had to function again, but it did not! Monday afternoon the physiotherapist was  visited again. But with the knee feeling fine again, we decided to try something else. Before visiting again on Thursday a little run was planned to make  the knee feel sore. On Thursday morning a little run was done before my visit. The knee was painful, but nothing could be found…. Strange!  Of to the doctor of FC Groningen for further examination of my knee…. And he got me an MRI right away last Monday and that was why he rang me!

My heart stopped! My inner meniscus was ruptured and the muscles around the knee were looking strange too… It… It… It felt as if I was hit with a cricket bat! WHAT!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

For some reason  I had felt already that something was wrong, but this! It had been in the back of my head all the time, but I stayed as positive as possible! But at the moment, my stomach just turned upside down! I almost needed to puke that instant… I could not move, could not think. I was stunned! My world as I knew it till that point just stopped completely! I just couldn’t hold on to it! It just slipped, slowly, but then faster and faster when things were settling in…. Unbelievable, but the worse thing possible had just happened to me!

Fortunately we were at the airport at that moment and the fresh air just put my stomach back the way it is supposed to be! But I did not know what I wanted to do? Smile or cry? Smile because I was at Schiphol to head to New York, or cry because this also meant my season was upside down…. It was going to be a long flight, on my own, having enough time to wonder about what to do.

After having a coffee and some time to think, things started to look brighter again! At least it was clear that something was wrong in the knee! And that meant we could start to put together a way to recover! Next week I will get an appointment with a couple of doctors and the physiotherapist again  and hopefully we can think up some way to get that knee fixed… Positive thinking!!!

But first New York City! There is 4:40 left of the flight! Enough time to have some naps on my own three seat row! Or watch some more movies! It will be so much fun seeing all my team mates again! I can’t wait! At least enough fun to keep me distracted from my knee!

Side note: I am surprised by the feeling I got from the MRI results. Feeling sick, dizzy, stunned, broken, lost, and helpless at that specific moment. And this was only my knee, not to imagine when the result is something life threatening! Unbelievable how strong those people are that need to cope with results like that!