Kasemier.eu

Groningen - Back home… Home after two weeks at the island Lanzarote and finishing the Ironman. Home with the cats and Hilde. It feels great to be back, but at the same time I feel a bit sad because time really flew the last two weeks. Lanzarote is a magical place and really did it’s magic on me.

Before heading to Lanzarote everything was clear in my mind. Two weeks of training to get back on track. And as dessert the Ironman the last Saturday of those two weeks. With the injuries I have had, the race would be no more than another training set and to see where I would be in my process to get ready for the second half of the season. Enjoying the race and experimenting with some things. It all went a bit different….

With this idea I got on the Ryanair plane in Eindhoven. Training and racing, nothing more, nothing less. But within a week things changed. The magic of Lanzarote got to me, my body and my mind. My thoughts about training were gone with the wind and everything turned into race mode. Nothing wrong with that, if preparations had been solid. But they were not, with the injuries I had…

With the new mindset the first week flew by and training was good. The second week became a taper for the race on Saturday. Ooooh boy, my body felt stronger and stronger. But my mind started playing tricks on me when the purpose of the two week stay changed from training to racing. Fortunately, Bart Klein was with me. Together we worked on the mental parts of racing Ironmans. The doubts of Ironman Arizona got back to me the first couple of days, but faded with help of Bart.

Slowly my confidence grew. And things got clear for me. There were some old habits and the ideas how to race Ironman were far from right. It became clear to me, that this was the time to change! Change these habits. Change these ideas. With a body that was still far from perfect, there was nothing to lose and give it a go.

Process & energy
Some time ago I raced on hell of a long distance. But instead of liberating me, it became a burden. One too heavy to carry. Every race this burden became the goal, the result, I was looking for. A copy of time, feeling, flow, mind, result. This time however, was different. No result orientated race, but a process mindset was the basis. This felt as a relief, as dropping a bag pack stuffed with lava rocks! Little steps from the plan made for the race were the guidance to the finish line.

As with the result of a previous race my energy balance was off. Off by miles. It had been hard to full fill the race without having an energy problem along the way. Now it was time to see if this could be turned into a favor. A solid plan was setup for race day to put things in the right order and amounts.

Two major burdens, one major mental handicap, one major physical handicap, two major changes and it felt great to finally find and change them. It was time to race, give it my best shot, see where I would be standing, feel the joy of racing, smile while crossing the finish!

Ironman Lanzarote 2011
And then race day arrived. From waking up till getting ready for the swim, everything happened in a flow. Easy going, without any stress, thoughts or feelings. Living the moment itself, and not wondering what the day would bring. Finishing up my Orbea bike, putting on my Orca wetsuit, setting my Timex Pro Trainer on the right screen, putting on my bathing cap, squeezing in my last Powerbar Gel without any thoughts or feelings. I dove into the ocean and every system got kick started by the flood of freezing ocean water rushing into my wetsuit. All because I forgot to close the top of my zipper and collar of my wetsuit. But it got me focussed, awake, ready, feeling, kick started and ready to go!

3,8km
At 7:00AM it was time to go! PANG! And off we were… Within 25 meters the first Age Groupers started to catch up and the ocean turned into one big washing machine. It was a bit of a fight, well bit… After turning left at the first buoy things settled in and the swim became more relaxing. I saw fish swimming by, more looking like bubbles. I saw the divers taking shots from underneath the swimmers. I saw the horizon changing color while the sun got up. I saw bubbles coming from far below and wondered if some diver would be down there or if it was Yaws… I saw the reefs with blue fish, that looked scared. And I saw the fourth big yellow buoy already, which meant the first lap was done. The bathing cap had almost come off my head and the little stretch on the beach was perfectly timed to put the cap back on. And into the second lap.

There it was! About 200 meters before the second turn. About 4 meters down. Floating. Floating in the azure blue water of the atlantic ocean. Like a painting, serene. A yellow bathing cap! It was so beautiful to see, so unreal, so quiet, so, so… So wonderful that the last part of the second loop just flew by.

T1
Planes have automatic pilots and so do I in transit! I thought… Stripping the wetsuit to the waist, grabbing my bag, running madly to the tent, squeezing in a gel, pouring in half a bottle of water, stuffing my wetsuit into the always too tight looking bag and putting on my helmet and sunglasses while running to my bike. And then I noticed that my left back pocket was empty… I had lost three gels already and that added another challenge to the race.

Still on automatic pilot mode. Replaying the way to run to my bike in my head and running that same way in transit. But then finding out that my bike was not where I thought it would be… So much for the automatic pilot… Luckily someone shouted to me to go to the next row of bikes! And there it was, packed in between two other bike, which had not been there earlier that morning… And off we were for 180km of riding!

180km
The first 45km flew by. And there it was, the climb toward Timanfaya. One straight road leading up towards the camels. The sky was covered with clouds and the wind was beating us head on. And then it happened. Seemingly endless lava field on both sides of the road. Dark matter, razor sharp rocks, one hell of a landscape to cycle through. And still it was like heaven on earth! The clouds opened up and the one ray of sunlight that came from the sky fell on me, as a spotlight. I got goose bumps all over. It was such a magical moment, the island did it’s magic.

From there the ride was ‘easy’ till about 100km. Trying to feel no pain in the legs and taking it as easy as possible. But Lanzarote is unforgiving. It get to everybody at some point. It wears you down without you knowing it. It is one hell of a tough cookie. A tasteful one, but also deadly if you do not pay attention. Still taking it easy at 140, it finally got to me.

My energy plan had been thrown overboard at T1 with losing 3 gels. There was nothing to do about it, than just try and put in the right amount of calories by grabbing extra bottles with Powerbar. And that worked. Nonetheless my engine died at 140km. It was just not big enough to pull through to T2. But my mind was strong. Stronger than ever and determined to push it! “Come on, keep pushing! Keep pushing! Don’t relax, there will be plenty of time for that tonight!” And I pushed, pushed and pushed! “Sit up straight and use your back as a sail. Push! Keep it going! Try to keep that heart rate as high as possible!” Where I would have bailed out in previous races, I kept on pushing it this time. Also trying to put in the energy the body needed, but the stomach was about to shut down. But I felt okay with the drop in speed, power and energy. There was no judgment about it, no feeling, no thoughts. This was the way it was, no more, no less.

T2
Near to wasted T2 was reached. A lot of my bodily energy was gone, but the mind was still strong. All I needed to do was to execute the plan for the run. Squeezing in the gels at the set intervals, flushing them with water from the aid stations. I tied my shoe laces and had the people put some sunscreen on my shoulders while squeezing in the first gel of the run. And I was ready. Ready to run… To run a marathon.

42,195
“Okay. 42km. Lets do it.” Is all I said to myself. Not making it easy or hard, just a run of 42km. There is not much I remember of those first 20km. Only to stop using gels and cola together… It was just 20km of running. Brainless, emotionless, thoughtless, without any feeling, just running, running and running. Back in Puerto Del Carmen I was looking out for the people I knew, trying to spot them in the crowd. Still sticking to my energy plan. It all went by in a flow.

Sniffing up the energy of the crowd, enjoying their cheers and shouts. Putting it all into forward motion. Putting in all I could get at every aid station. Looking at my watch to see when the time was right for yet another gel. “20 Minutes. Nice, 5 left before the next gel.” And then 5 minutes later. “25 Minutes. Ooh… Uhm.. Uch! I don’t want to!” “You have to!” ” I don’t want another gel!” ” You have to!” And even though it was against every feeling in my body, my stomach was done with all the sweet stuff, I put in another gel! The mind was strong and pushed my body forward. Even though the engine died for the second time that day.

At about 25km my body was done. To few hours of training got to it, got to me and made me slower and slower! My body was hurting. “Keep going! Keep going!” It was as if my body held back, pushing it to the limits, but not going forward. “Push! Come on!” I wasn’t tired, worn out, broken, done, I just could not go any faster anymore. “FINISH! FINISH!” Was all going through my mind, no giving up! It felt like running with two flats, pushing it, but not being able to push it. At the aidstations I started walking to get in as many drinks as possible.

And then at 35km my knee gave up! But the mind did not! “Come on, keep it going!” And that is what I did, running, jogging, walking, drinking, squeezing in more gels (even near the finish), getting where I wanted to be: the finish line! After 10:40:16 I was done!

Four days after

Meanwhile it is Wednesday. The first run after the race is already behind me. And the feeling of satisfaction is growing stronger and stronger. The time is far from what my capabilities are, but I made it to the finish line. Something I did not dare to dream two months ago.The body was far from ready to race with the little amount of training I put into it. The mind however was stronger then ever and it pulled me through! And guess what? I am already looking forward to the next race. All the change of the last two weeks really did their magic.